What If The Snowman Was No More?

The Snowman at his best

The Snowman at his best

Imagine a golfing world that didn’t have The Snowman in it? What if all of those opportunities to laugh and mock the futility of others in your foursome disappeared and suddenly you became the recipient of the scrutiny usually reserved for him? Thankfully that nightmare has no chance of coming true. Whew!

However. even The Snowman will have his day on the links, and Wednesday the worm turned and it didn’t get frostbite. Your Scribe had his suspicions on the very first hole, the infamous 542 yard “Road Hole.” On this hole Frosty gets 3 strokes (yes, that’s right, 3) since his handicap is a course maximum of 2o for nine holes. Drive down the center, hit, hit, hit, chip and a 1-putt gave him a bogey, net EAGLE on a hole he averages a heavy snowman-plus. Hole 2, net BIRDIE; same on #3. On the final 6 holes he finally settled down posting 5 hangers (7’s) for net bogeys and a single score of 4, net BIRDIE on the lone par 3 for a final score of 55, net 35. Still the round was more than enough for The Snowman to record a round without a single snowman…truly a momentous accomplishment and worthy of winning some FREE BEER at our 19th hole, The Crackpot Restaurant bought by Mr. Fifteen and his 50, net 41 score. Commish and Mr. FourSkin both recorded mediocre scores of 48, net 39 and as such were mere observes in this mini tournament.

Speaking of snowmen, Mr. Fifteen had the only 8 during the round bringing his season-long total to a paltry number of 7 in 24 rounds, compared to Frosty’s record-setting 32 in just 20 rounds.

For his fine round, The Snowman’s handicap has dropped for the first time in at least 4 years to a less than maximum 19 for next week’s ever-exciting tournament where the stakes will be heightened as the Race for the Simian Award and the Chee’burger dinner comes down to its final few rounds.


Posted in Beer, Chee'burger Dinner, Commish, Crackpot, Mr. Fifteen, Mr. FourSkin, Snowman
2 comments on “What If The Snowman Was No More?
  1. Mr Fifteen says:

    The Snowman isn’t the only golfer in the BGA that can and should be mocked each week. Mr Fourskin holds that spot. So we do have a spare Bill that can always be made fun of.

  2. The Scribe says:

    Yes, as everyone knows, Bills are fungible.

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I never pray on a golf course. Actually, the Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the course.
   ~ Billy Graham