#7, May 6, “Roger Maris” Returns

Round 6 was played and was so unspectacular that our Scribe didn’t even file his report. Today’s report is from our reserve Scribe and accurately shows that the BGA, in spite of our golfing deficiencies, still outplays many “average Joe’s” that pickup the sticks.

On a pleasant afternoon for golf only Mr. Fifteen (CS) and the Snowman ( BL ) hit the links of Mt. Pleasant. Mr. FourSkin (BC) had family obligations and the Commish was on vacation.  The pace was very slow as a trio of horrendous golfers hacked their way in front of the BGA duffers. A very proficient young golfer in his twenties and another golfer who looked to have taken driving lessons from BC’s friend Carl joined us for the round. Mr. Fifteen (CS) played a very consistent quality round of bogey golf for the first eight holes before stumbling into the clubhouse with a hangman on the ninth hole. He finished with a score of 47 and recorded a par and six bogeys. This was more than enough to defeat the Snowman  who recorded a dismal Roger Maris (61) . A Pavarotti (10) on hole# 1 set the stage for a long afternoon. After an almost bird on #6 that ended in a bogey he stepped to the tee box of # 7. Three lost ball penalty shots off the tee  lay the groundwork for a hole of epic disaster. A tremendous 180 yard shot followed to put him on the green within 6 feet of the pin. There was a glimmer of hope that a second double digit could be avoided. However three putts later the Snowman grumbled off to the tee box for # 8 with a Streckfus (11). A bogey on #8 and a double bogey on #9 sent the Snowman off to the Crack Pot to quench the thirst of the victorious Mr. Fifteen with a cold Bud.

Posted in Uncategorized

Rd #5, April 22 and Babe Ruth Returns

snowmanbillFor the first time this year, the weather looked fine. At 2:00 it was almost 70 and sunny; but, tee time was not until 5:34 and by the time it came around the wind had felled trees in the area, the rain poured down, and the temperature had plunged to the low 50’s. Showing a remarkable lack of common sense, the BGA b’hoys showed up on-time and one of them was even wearing shorts (Mr. Fifteen). After reconsidering his lunacy, a pair of longer and warmer pants was found in his car and off to the tee we went.

A hard played team game ensued with Team Swansonhead (the Commish and Mr. Fifteen) 1 down to Team Bill (Mr. FourSkin and The Snowman) coming to the last hole. The Swansonheads were in with a double bogey 6’s (net 5) while The Snowman was laying 5 still 6 feet away. Calmly stroking his 60th shot of the 9-hole round, Frosty sunk the putt and secured another win for The Bills.

Final scores were Mr. FourSkin 44 (net 37), Commish 48 (net 39), Mr. Fifteen 50 (net 40), and buying the beer, The Snowman with a “Babe Ruth” 60, net 41. What a great game when someone can shoot a 9, an 8, and four 7’s and still be the hero by making the game-winning shot when it was most needed.

Posted in Babe Ruth, Snowman

Rd 4, April 15 and the Commish is Back

CartGirlIt took him until the 4th round of the year, but Ron “Commish” Swanson finally recorded his first par of the season. Additionally, he also put in his first snowman, too. Luckily for him he added several more pars without increasing his snowman count and at the end of the day, Bill “Mr. FourSkin” Cockey was treating Commish to a tall cold one at the fabulous Crackpot Restaurant, where drunks, deadbeats and derelicts gather to chow down and wash away their bogeys and worse.

Posted in Uncategorized

Rd. 3, April 8: Cold, Wet, and No Snowman

Three golfers posted on time but The Snowman was no where to be seen. Since your faithful Scribe is still thawing out from the windy, rainy, 42 degree round, all he can recall is that Mr. FourSkin bounced his first drive off the road and then proceeded to hit 6 fairways and post 4 pars en route to the first good round of the year. Final scores were Mr. FourSkin 42 (net 35), Mr. Fifteen 48 (net 38) and with a 48 (net 39) Commish was buying the brew at The Crackpot that evening.

That is all and please bring back some global warming.

Posted in global warming, golf results

Round #2, April 1, 2015 and Drama on the Links

Bill "The Snowman" Levering

Bill “The Snowman” Levering

With 9-hole handicaps of 19 (The Snowman), 10 (Mr. Fifteen), 9 (the Commish), and 7 (Mr. FourSkin) who could have guessed that this motley crew of April Fools could produce real drama in a tightly contested round of golf? Well, because of the games that we play, every stroke can become important, even if sometimes you need 70 of them to complete 9 holes.

Rodger "Mr. Fifteen" Swanson

Rodger “Mr. Fifteen” Swanson

And today was just such a round. In the Team competition, Commish (hereafter referred to as RS) and The Snowman (BL) were teamed against the Misters Fifteen (CS) and FourSkin (BC) in a 9-hole match play game with the losers buying a beer for each of the winners. Simultaneously there is a full handicap stroke play game going on in which the player with the highest “net” score buys a beer for the player with the lowest net. If there is a tie then multiple beers can become involved, and this match had all of the ingredients of such an event.

After 6 holes, Team BL/RS was 2 down to BC/CS with just 3 to play. As for the individual “beer event,” those standings would not be known until the tee box for the 8th hole when all -players had to announce their current score.

The Commish

The Commish

The 7th hole is a dogleg right with lots of trouble on the right. Anything that starts to fade is liable to end up in the ravine. Four decent (read that as “findable”) drives placed everyone still in play but only the Commish was on the green in regulation, giving Team BC/RS a chance to get one hole back. Alas, his recalcitrant putter three-whacked from 25 feet. On Team BC/CS, Mr. FourSkin was over the back of the green with his 2nd and hit a delicate downhill chip that peeked at the hole and then slowly dribble some 8 feet further downhill. CS was in for a 6 and out of the hole but BC 2-putted to seemingly push the and all but insure the victory for Team BC/CS. But wait, The Snowman was on the green in 3 and he got a stroke from everyone and, with a quiet 2-putt his bogey along with one of his 19 handicap strokes was a winner. Team BL/RS had life, one down with 2 to go.

Announcing score on the 8th tee, the b’hoys stood at 47, net 28 for The Snowman (BL), 39 net 30 for Commish (RS), 39 net 29 for Mr. Fifteen (CS), and 38 net 31 for Mr. FourSkin (BC); it was still anyone’s beer to win…or lose.

A pair of bogeys by CS and RS produced no blood, but then BC 2-putted for a par and seemingly winning the team match for BC/CS. But wait, The Snowman was on in 3 and he got a stroke. One putt would take the win from Team BC/CS and tie the match going to the final hole…the #1 rated, or most difficult hole on the course. While BL missed the first putt, his second putt along with another handicap stroke gave him a net par and that hole was pushed. Net scores going to the last hole stood at BL 33, CS 34, RS 35, and BC 35.

Mr. FourSkin

Mr. FourSkin

The tough par 4 uphill 9th put three balls in the fairway with the 4th just off in the right rough, everyone between 275 and 215 yards out. No one made it on in 2, but, after the third shots RS was on the green about 15 feet away; BC was over the green; CS and BL were each just a few yards short of the green and with the scores so tight anyone could win the beer. In fact it was so close that it was possible for someone to either win 3 beers or even to lose as many as three beers.

Mr. Fifteen chipped and 2-putted for a 6, giving him a net 40. Commish 2-putted for a bogey 5 and a net 40. However, Commish gave Mr. Fifteen a stroke on the hole so his double bogey tied Commish and Team BC/CS was still 1-up in the Team Event. Mr. FourSkin needed a good chip and a one-putt to finish with a net 40 and tie for the possible lead or also the possible lose with another net of 40 strokes; but he missed the putt and was in with a double bogey 6 and a net of 41. Now it was up to The Snowman. In the gathering gloom of evening with the sun quickly going down, BL stood over his putt knowing that he was on in 4 and of he could get down in 2 strokes his net 39 would be good enough to win. The other 3 knew that a 2-putt was not guaranteed, especially since on the par 3 6th hole Frosty has 5-putted. No, that is not a typo. BL was on the green in 1 and walked off with a double par 6! Listen, he is not a 19 handicap for nothing, you know.

His first putt was short and he was now about 4 feet away with a net score of 38. Another miss and BC would be buying beer for each of the other 3 players. Nervously standing over the putt, The Snowman sunk the putt and won outright with his net of 39. But wait, that was not all. While RS has the low score ont he hole, he didn’t win because CS got a stroke from him, but while BL tied CS with a 6 he received a stroke from CS and his net 5 on the hole not only won the hole but it halved the team match so that no further blood, or in this case beer, was spilled.

All of that excitement and the final result was that only a single beer was bought by BC for BL, and now, after 2 rounds for the season The Snowman has had free beer at the fabulous Crackpot Seafood Restaurant each week. Imagine, all of this excitement and not a single score above a Hanger (a 7) after The Snowman’s pair of snowmen to start the round

Posted in Beer, Commish, Crackpot, golf results, Uncategorized

It’s Here…The 2015 Season

Wednesday, March 25, 2015. It began like so many other opening days…freezing rain in the morning, warming to 38 and drizzle by tee time. Commish (Ron Swanson), Mr. Fifteen (Rodger Swanson), and the Snowman (Bill Levering) made their way the Mount while Mr. FourSkin (Bill Cockey) hopped on a jet and flew in from Lost Wages, Nevada just in time to put his peg in the ground. And are we glad he did!

Every year there are three categories that each of us covets for someone else to win. They are:
a) Who will be the first to not clear the road with their drive on the infamous “Road Hole;”
b) Who will get the first double digit score of the season; and
c) Who will record the first snowman of the year (an 8, for any non-golfers reading this).

All of these were decided by the end of the very first hole! Mr. FourSkin was the last to tee up and produced a prodigious 4 yard pop-up to claim the first category. Mr. Fifteen almost re-earned his nickname as hacked his way to an astounding even dozen strokes on his first hole. Meanwhile The Snowman was the only player to hit the fairway and he used this advantageous start to sink his second putt, a tough 5 footer, to record the year’s first snowman. Commish played a rather mundane hole of golf with everything coming up short and also 2-putted but his was for a hanger (a “7”) and tied Mr. FourSkin for low score on the hole.

Before it was over, The Snowman added another snowman and a “Streckfus” (an 11) to his scorecard, but he also recorded the day’s only par and ended up with the high score of 59, but with his 19 handicap, it was good enough to win a beer from Mr. Fifteen who “recovered” from his opening 12 to finish with a 57, net 47. Mr. FourSkin added three more hangers during his round and finished with a 53, net 46 while Commish had the low gross score (not to be confused with actually having a low score) of 52, net 43.

Just think, we actually looked forward to the season starting. Oh well, there’s always hope for next week.


Posted in Uncategorized

Rd 27, Oct 8; Mr. FourSkin Came to Play

BC-Cheeseburger10-8-14In the 2014 season’s penultimate round, big Bill “Mr. FourSkin” Cockey put together a round worthy of winning the season’s first “Chee’burger Dinner” at Baltimore’s famous Crackpot Restaurant. Needing to post a net 31 score, Bill did one stroke better than that and shot a 38, net 30.

Hititng fairways and greens like he knew what he was doing, Bill also finally sank a meaningful putt and joined the 2014 Birdie Club. Can you imagine playing to a 7 handicap (his reward for playing so well was to lose another stroke on his handicap) and not making a birdie until your 25th round of the season? However, it is also true that he does lead the BGA by a wide margin in making pars and added another 6 to go along with his lone bird. All kidding aside, your Scribe has to extend congratulations on such a well played round.

Now the bets are being made as to how high his final round of the year will be. Right now the over/under is 46 as consistency is not a hallmark of the BGA.

His playing partner, Bill “The Snowman” Levering posted a sweet 59 (net 40) for the round but it was good enough for Team Bill to beat Team Swansonhead as Rodger “Mr. Fifteen” Swanson‘s 48 (net 38) and Ron “Commish” Swanson‘s 50 (net 41) was bad enough to buy the beer to go along with the chee’burger and Old Bay fries.

Posted in Beer, Chee'burger Dinner, golf results

Rd 26, Oct.1, Beautiful Weather and Really Bad Golf

It is truly an exceptional round when your humble Scribe has no interest in even making fun of the golfers, make that duffers of the BGA. This round was, help me here I need a stronger word than PATHETIC.

For the record, Bill “Mr. FourSkin” Cockey won with a 47, net 39. Rodger “Mr. Fifteen” Swanson got plenty of experience with his 50, net 40. And to top that, Ron “Commish” Swanson shot a 50 net 41 to be the biggest loser of the crowd. The Snowman (Bill Levering) got stuck at work and failed to post.

Mr. FourSkin hit 6 of 9 fairways, posted 2 pars and hit 1/3 of the greens in regulation. All of those good things and his score was too high to help lower his handicap any.

Mr. Fifteen didn’t pretend to play well as he hit Zero fairways, Zero greens and made Zero pars. Come to think of it, The Snowman hit exactly the same number and he failed to post.

Commish tried to get his game together but finished triple bogey, bogey, triple bogey to record his first net 40+ score since April. He did manage to find 2 fairways and a single par to go with missing every green in regulation.

Good News? Well, there are only two more rounds left in this season’s play.

Posted in Commish, golf results, Snowman

Rd 25, Sept. 24, Finally a “2” is Scored

First the important stuff…the link for the BGA Statistics through the end of September 2014.

The Scribe is very pleased to write that someone (the Commish) finally filled in the 6th hole on his scorecard with a 2. After almost 25 round, the end of September, and only 3 rounds left in the season, someone in the BGA hit his tee shot close enough to make a putt…or to be more clear, make his first putt. As can be see on the stats, Commish now has a league-leading 80% of the season’s birdies. On the other hand, Mr. FourSkin has almost 47% of the pars, the best putting average, and the lowest handicap but has yet to sink a birdie putt. Go figure.

The Simian Award given to the most improved player based upon improvement in his or her stats in Fairways, Greens in Regulation, Pars, and Birdies is still up for grabs as no one has been able to improve upon their 2013 totals.

For the last round of the penultimate month of the season, Commish won the beer from Mr. Fifteen. Scores were Commish 43 (net 33), Mr. FourSkin 45 (net 37), and Mr. Fifteen a horrendous 54 (net 44) that featured bookend snowmen to go with no GIRs or Pars.

Posted in 2014 statistics, golf results

Rd 24, Sept. 17, FourSkin to the Forefront

Mr. FourSkin and his Monkey

Mr. FourSkin and his Monkey

Getting hot at the end of the season just might be enough for Bill “Mr. FourSkin” Cockey to eke out a Chee’burger dinner for the season. Bill was last year’s winner of the dinner and the coveted Simian Award, which can be seen being proudly hoisted in the picture to the left.

Beginning September, no one had improved upon their statistics from 2013 to qualify for the year-end extravaganza, but this week Bill racked up an even dozen chee’burger points with 2 fairways, 4 pars, and an incredible 6 greens in regulation. All of this led to a score of 43 (net 35) to barely win the weekly prize of a FREE BEER. Will it be enough? We won’t know for another 4 weeks but after next week’s round the penultimate stats will be tabulated by the BGA Super Computer and we will begin to see if we have a winner in the making. Only one other time since the initiation of the Cheeseburger Dinner at the Fabulous Crackpot Restaurant has there not been a winner, so your humble Scribe is certainly hoping that this will not be the second time.

Commish and Mr. Fifteen has so-so rounds of 46 (net 36) while the erstwhile Snowman delivered a 58 (net 39) and had to buy another beer for the cockey Mr. Cockey.

Posted in Beer, Uncategorized
We used to call it a Spade Mashie; Today it is a 6 iron