April 6, Round #2

The Snowman at his best

The Snowman at his best

Breaking a more-than-a-century-old record, The BGA teed off on the coldest April 6 in Baltimore’s history. In a fitting way, The Snowman proceeded to emerge victorious for the second week in a row. But that’s not the big news…

Mr. Fifteen revealed that he is letting family commitments interfere with his golfing responsibilities and will be going on a college visit with his progeny next week. So, in a remarkable bit of good luck, the BGA will have a substitute player, the beautiful and perspicacious Edie Adams! I can still hear her melodious refrains from that cigar commercial, “…Hey big spender, spend a little time with…”

Oh, wait a second. The BGA Editor-in-Chief has just handed me a note saying that Eddie, not Edie, Adams may be joining us next week. Never mind.

What a disappointment. So I guess it’s back to the actual Bad Golf that was displayed in abundance last night.

Kudos to Mt. Pleasant for having the greens in perfect shape on the front nine. They rolled very fast and true…maybe because it was so cold we were almost putting on ice. While we don’t have a stimpmeter, they must have been 4-5 feet faster than last week. However they did lead to two 4-putts to go along with seven 1-putt greens as we adjusted to the speed. They grounds crew will remedy the great greens by aerating them before next week’s play.

Final scores were: Snowman 55, net 35; Mr. FourSkin 47, net 39, Commish 50, net 39; and generously buying the beer at the 19th hole, Mr. Fifteen with a 50, net 40.

Posted in Beer, Edie Adams, Mr. Fifteen, Mr. FourSkin, Uncategorized

Opening Day, March 30, 2016

Finally the day had arrived. Dusting off our sticks and swings after a long winter of un-use, the BGA arrived at the appointed time to start the new season. The wind was up and the temperature was down; however, “the Bills” both made their appearance in mid-summer garb sporting short pants and scary white legs.

Sadly, it began much like the previous one had ended. While everyone crossed the road on the notorious #1 Road Hole, Commish flirted with becoming the season’s first to fail to cross the road but somehow ended up in the fairway. By the time everyone was in the hole, Mr. FourSkin had an “hanger” (7), Commish and The Snowman were in with snowmen (8), and Mr. Fifteen had to write down an El Niño (9).

Commish ended up with a single par and a big 50, net 39. Mr Fifteen found 3 fairways, hit 3 greens in regulation, made 3 pars and led in fewest putts with 18. Somehow he, too, recorded a 50, net 40. I guess it goes to show that a 9 and a 7 really can mess up a scorecard! Mr. FourSkin put in 3 pars to go along with a pair of 7’s, an 8, and a 9 to wind up with a 53, net 45 and had to provide the season’s first beer to The Snowman who, in spite of an 8 and a pair of 7’s ended up with a Heintz 57, net 37.

No beer was won in the Team Competition as The Bills and The Swansonheads tied 4 to 4 with a single push on hole #5. It did take a par by Mr. Fifteen (net birdie)  to beat Mr. FourSkin’s par (net par) on the final hole of the match, the hardest rated hole on the front nine. For the record, Commish had a bogey (net par) and The Snowman recorded a double-bogey (net par) on the 445 yard uphiller.

Posted in El Niño, Snowman

Rd. 19 July 29 “A Chee’burger for Mr. Fifteen”

The previous 3 weeks of play were so uneventful that The Scribe was not inspired to make a record of the playing.

Mr15 Wins a 'burgerHowever, after many years of travail, Rodger “Mr. Fifteen” Swanson finally won a cheeseburger dinner at the fabulous Crackpot Seafood Restaurant for his fine play on this day. This is no easy task as a player has to record a net 31 (5 under par) to get such a treat. On this day the play was unusually consistent for all of our duffers as Bill “Mr. FourSkin” Cockey  had a 44, net 37 to be the overall loser and have to buy the beer to go along with the tasty chee’burger and Old Bay fries that Rodger wolfed down. The bronze medal went to Bill “The Snowman” Levering with a solid 55, net 36. Ron “Commish” Swanson place second with a 46, net 35 and then there was Mr. Fifteen and his best-ever round of 40, net 29.

Congrats, and it’s about time he didn’t choke on the last hole!

Posted in Chee'burger Dinner, golf results, Mr. Fifteen

Rd 15, July 1 and Commish Wins Again

Round 14 was just Commish and Mr. Fifteen with Commish winning with a very weak 48, net 38 to Mr. Fifteens’s 51, net 40. Enough said.

This week, Rounf 15, the scores were  close as Commish shot a 46, net 36 to win again. Mr. Fifteen finished with 48, net 39; The Snowman had a 60, net 41, and Mr. FourSkin finished with a 48, net 41. The end result of which was 2 beers being awarded to Commish.

The excitement of the round came when Mr. Fifteen holed a 6 foot putt on the final hole to win the team competition as Commish missed his 12 footer for par by about 2 inches and with biot finishing with bogeys, Mr. Fifteen got his single stroke from Commish on this hole to record a team victory and a beer awarded to both Misters as they bested the team of Frosty and Commish 1-up.

Posted in Uncategorized

Rd 13, June 17 Could 2 Chee’burgers Really Be Awarded?

The short answer is “No,” but it was oh so close.

With The Snowman stuck at work, the intrepid three teed off in a slight drizzle (like, what’s new, right?). The first 2 holes were a “wash” as six bogeys were posted. Then the separation began. On #3, Commish double bogeyed against Mr. Fifteen’s par and Mr. FourSkin‘s first BIRDIE of the season. Over the last 6 holes Mr. 4Skin would add another birdie and 2 pars; Mr. 15 would go on to par 4 of those 6 holes, while Commish could manage only a single par over the last stretch.

All-in-all the quality of the golf that was played this day could truly be referred to in the elevated terms of mediocre, bordering upon acceptable. High praise, indeed. No score higher than 6 was recorded (2 each by “The Misters” and 3 by Commish) and when all of the dust settled, Commish was buying the beer even though he had a net par score which, just the previous week was the winning score.

The Chee’burger rounds:
After 7 holes the scores were totaled and Mr. Fifteen stood at 32, net 21. He needed just a bogey-bogey finish to score a FREE Chee’burger dinner. Could he play just 2 more holes without choking like a dog?

Mr. FourSkin’s score was 29, net 22. He could win the ‘burger with par-bogey finish; an easy task considering he had a pair of pars and birdies already.

It is sad to report that “15” finished double bogey-bogey and “4Skin” went down with a bogey-double finish.

So close, and on his birthday, too. Well, Happy Birthday, young fella. Just keep trying.

So at about the mid-point of the season, the birdie lead is now Mr. FourSkin’s as he has 2 to Commish and Mr. Fifteen’s singleton. So far The Snowman has chosen not to compete in this coveted competition. As for sub-par net scores this year, there have only been 3, the two recorded today and Commish’s 31 a month ago that did win a Chee’burger dinner.

Beers won/lost so far:
Mr. FourSkin : won 6, bought 3
The Snowman: won 3, bought 3
Mr. Fifteen: won 5, bought 4
Commish: won 4, bought 4

Posted in Beer, Chee'burger Dinner, Commish, golf results, Mr. Fifteen, Mr. FourSkin

Rd 12, June 10 Just Another Day at the BGA

The Bills win The BIIIILLLLLLLSSSSS win.

That’s about all your venerable Scribe can write about. Team Swansonhead was very bad and Team Bill was so-so bad but they won and got much free beer at the Crackpot. And that is all I care to say about that.

Bill “Mr. FourSkin” Cockey        44, net 36
Bill “The Snowman” Levering    55, net 36

Rodger “Mr. Fifteen” Swanson    53, net 42
Ron “Commish” Swanson           50, net 40

Posted in Uncategorized

Rd #11, June 3, Where Art Thou O Snowman?

Mr. FourSkin and his Monkey

Mr. FourSkin and his Monkey

Another week of steady rain, the first June days in 6 years with high temps below 65, and The Snowman fails to post, again. The scuttlebutt around the BGA Central Office is that he is trying to sit on his lead in the Race for The Simian Award, formerly known as The Specimen Cup. As can be seen in the current BGA Stats, he is way ahead in this year-long competition but losing ground seemingly every time he puts a club in his hand.

To the matter at hand, yesterday’s round was the quintessential BGA. Lots of almosts, and very few rememberables.

Commish started with a pair of double bogeys then seemed to turn things around with a couple of pars before reverting to add 4 more double bogeys in the final 5 holes and finishing with a very poor 49, net 40.

Mr. Fifteen on the other hand, got off to a pair on bogeys, then settled for hangers (7’s) on the next two par fours. Recovering to finish with a full house of 5’s over 4’s on the last 5 holes, he finished with a 48, net 37.

Mr. FourSkin. Now here is a piece of work. Knowing that if he had a 45 today, his handicap would go up, he evidently did some quick ciphering and realized that over 9 holes he needed to score 5 on each one. So what do you suppose he did? Hole 1, a par 5, he parred it for a 5. Hole 2, a par 4, he shot a bogey 5. Holes 3, 4, and 5 were also par 4’s that he bogeyed. Five holes and five 5’s. On the par 3 sixth hole things got weird as he slipped up big time and parred the hole. Holes 7 and 8 also produced bogey 5’s. Now the math got complicated and he knew he needed a bigger number than 5 but how big was the question. Trying not to be too obvious, he three-putted for his only double bogey of the round and finished with a 44, net 37. This produced a tie for the winning score and poor Commish had to buy a beer for each of the victorious gladiators.

And, to Mr. FourSkin’s immense relief, his 44 was just bad enough to move his handicap up a stroke for next week’s competition. Hopefully we will see Frosty making an appearance and the team games can begin their third rotation of the year with The Bills taking on Team Swansonhead. New handicaps will be:
Mr. FourSkin (8) & The Snowman (19) versus Mr. Fifteen (11) & Commish (10)

Posted in Beer, Commish, Mr. Fifteen, Mr. FourSkin, Snowman

#10 May 27, Another Wednesday, Another Rain Storm

With the failure of Mr. FourSkin to post, the intrepid trio of Commish, The Snowman and Mr. Fifteen bought their greens fees and proceeded to the first tee only to be rained upon. The dark clouds seemed to be moving to the north so everyone crossed their fingers, said a prayer to the Water Witch, and put their pegs in the ground while hoping to drive toward a brightening sky.

If it had been poker, The Snowman would have had the high hand with a full house of snowmen over sixes to the Commish’s score of 7’s over sixes en route to only his second round of 50 or more this season. Meanwhile Mr. Fifteen was plodding along, not doing anything particularly well but good enough to beat the other two duffers he was playing with.

Final scores were Mr. 15 47 (net 36), Frosty 59 (net 40), and Commish 51 (net 42) to go along with 5 3-putts on greens that he never figured the speeds on. So, for just the second time this year, the beer was on the Commish at Baltimore’s fabulous Crackpot Seafood Restaurant, our 19th hole sanctuary.

This marked the end of the third month of the season so the latest stats are posted.

Posted in Uncategorized

#9, May 20, And Frosty Recalls His Hole-in-One

snowmanbillLast week your humble Scribe wrote a short tome congratulating Commish on his winning of a Chee’burger dinner for a net score of 31 or better. All he heard about it was how he forgot to mention The Snowman‘s hole-in-one…hole in one tree, that is.

Teamed with Commish, on the 4th hole, Frosty hit his approach shot “a little to the right.” As it slowed and approached a large nut tree (kinda appropriate, huh?), it actually ran up the tree trunk about 8 feet and calmly rolled back down. It was never to be hit again. However, after an intensive search, it was found to have rolled straight back down the trunk and into a hollowed out part at the base of the tree for a BGA-best hole-in-one-tree en route to an easy score of, of course, a snowman.

Now for this week’s tightly contested round. Mr. FourSkin (7), Commish (9), and Mr. Fifteen (11) are two strokes apart in handicap and they finished tied at net 39 each with scores of, respectively, 46, 48, and 50. Unfortunately for The Snowman (19 handicap), he couldn’t hold his score on the first hole to a snowman and recorded yet another 10. This ended up giving him a 60 with a net score of 41. Which meant that he had to buy the winner a beer. This week there were three winners so much brew flowed freely at Baltimore’s fabulous Crackpot Restaurant that evening.

Rubbing in just a little more salt to melt Frosty’s ever-present smile, Mr. FourSkin sunk a 6-footer on the last hole to also win the team contest for Team Commish/Fourskin over Team Snowman/Fifteen, so Frosty was on the hook for yet another beer. This did tie the league record for beers bought in a single round at the maximum number of 4. So, I guess, rather than congratulations, many thank-yous to Frosty are in order.

Posted in Uncategorized

#8, May 13, Commish Wins a Chee’burger

It was a beautiful afternoon and for Commish it would only get better. He was teamed with The Snowman and they were trying to win a beer from the team of Misters Fifteen and FourSkin. Mr. Fifteen’s bogey on the opening proved to be a winner but a chip-in for birdie on the next hole by Commish tied it up. That began Commish’s “round of the season” as he parred and bogeyed his way to the last hole needing another bogey on the tough uphill 445 yard par 4 to record a 41, net 31 to win a chee’burger dinner from his playing partners. And a bogey is just what he got as his final putt was a mere tap in for his nickel. The win also kept The Snowman’s undefeated season in team play alive. It’s nice to partner with a 19 (for 9) handicapper when he can deliver a couple of pars and/or bogeys, isn’t it.

Final scores were Commish 41, net 31; The Snowman 56, net 37, and Mr. Fifteen 49, net 38; Mr. FourSkin 45, net 38. Since they tied for high net, Commish not only got his chee’burger but a couple of brews to go with it.

Posted in Uncategorized
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
   ~ Jack Benny