Rd. #1, April 2, 2014; 60º, an Artie Donovan

Mr. FourSkin and his Monkey

Mr. FourSkin and his Monkey

Finally, it has started. After handing out the traveling Simian Award to Mr. FourSkin for his winning 2013 season, we were off to the first tee and another season of golfing angst.

The winter rust definitely showed as we opened the golfing year with 49, 50, 51 and 70 (yes, that is not a typo) for our first 9 holes of the year.

Bill “The Snowman” Levering, a staunch Baltimore Colts fan, began the year with an homage to the great Baltimore Colts Hall of Famer, the late Art Donovan, big number 70. Beginning with a 10 on the Road Hole (#1), by the end of the 5th hole he had assembled a full house on the scorecard…7’s over 10’s. Ouch. For the record, he also threw in a 12 on hole #7 with the help of 6 shots to escape a sandtrap for a  70 net 51. In another act of symmetry, Bill’s 12 was matched by his total of 12 strokes spent in various bunkers around the course. He did want me to point out that he finished with the same ball that he started the round with and achieved his “Artie” without the help of any penalty strokes.

Rodger “Mr. Fifteen” Swanson opened up with a 9 on the first hole and then settled down to finish with a cool 51, net 41.

Ron “Commish” Swanson had the season’s first par on #2, but his own full house of 6’s over 7’s doomed him to a 50, net 41.

Bill “Mr. FourSkin” Cockey also had a full house of 6’s over 7’s, but he did manage to par 2 holes and finished with the best round…a piss-poor 49, net 42.

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Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that.
   ~ Jim Murray